Quick chat with Dad
My new monthly spotlight on Dads kicks off this week with Dave Krinsky. A Hollywood writer and producer, Dave has a family of four kids, including 3 year old twins.
Dave has been the Executive Producer on the Emmy award winning animated series King of the Hill for the past 7 years. In addition, Dave co-wrote Blades of Glory starring Will Ferrell and independently produced Mike Judge’s new movie, Extract starring Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis and Ben Affleck.
Dave kindly took time out from his busy schedule to share tips on balancing family and work, coping with the arrival of twins and taking control of the TV remote…
After I had my baby I started writing my blog as a means of expressing the rollercoaster ride of emotions I was experiencing. Have your experiences as a father influenced your work as a writer?
The main influence has been a lot less time to write. But it has definitely influenced the kinds of projects I want to do, and I’m sure the content as well. I took my older daughters to the premiere of Blades of Glory and they just kept staring at me, bewildered. And there’s no way I’d let them see Extract.
So I’ve definitely pursued some projects that would be fun for them to see. Mainly, though, I find myself steering clear of any “kids in jeopardy” projects, both as a writer and a viewer. They’re way too tough to watch as a parent.
My baby suffered from colic and the first few months were a living nightmare. I found myself scouring internet forums at 4am praying for a miracle solution. How did you cope with the tough stuff like teething / sleeplessness nights / potty training etc? Did you consult baby books or just go with the flow?
We tried a bit of everything. With twins, though, it was all exponentially harder. I tried to do as the experts advised, but most of that goes out the window when you haven’t slept in days and have two infants crying and two older girls wanting attention as well.
I have to admit, though, that I was fortunate to have a wife who not only studied Child Development, but also wrote a book on being a new mother called “The Stay At Home Martyr.” It’s a comedic look at the idea that sacrificing yourself entirely for your children isn’t the best mothering style; maintaining your identity as a woman and wife is important to raising healthy kids as well. So a lot of the time I just said, “Honey, what the hell do I do?”
My husband and I have our hands full with just one baby. I take my hat off to you as the father of twins. What advice would you give to someone who’s expecting more than one baby?
On the bright side, I always heard the father doesn’t know what his role is when a new baby comes along. With twins, you don’t have that problem because both parents have to do everything just to survive.
My advice is try to get help where you can, always communicate with your partner because you’re going to be cranky and feeling victimized and that’s not good for anyone, and teach your kids to say “I want Mama to do it” as quickly as you can.
My daughter already has a favourite baby book, I must have read it 1,000 times. Do your kids have a current favourite?
Right now they love Leonardo the Terrible Monster, Knuffle Bunny, and a super hero ABC book whose name escapes me. When I’m tired I try to paraphrase some pages but they have them pretty much memorized so that doesn’t fly.
My little one loves TV and she’s only 6 months old…she recognizes jingles too… I suspect I may be letting her spend way too much time in front of the flatscreen. Do you have any rules about letting your kids watch TV?
We try to limit it to in the morning for an hour and right before bed for a half hour. But if we need to make dinner, help the older girls with their homework or just need time with each other, we may throw a movie on and hope that it doesn’t lead to miserable lives in their future. And I don’t let them watch Blades of Glory or Extract either. At least not until they’re four.
Extract, an all-star comedy ensemble featuring Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig and Ben Affleck, opened in the UK on March 26.
A shout out for Daddies
Recently, my husband and I discussed how the majority of the baby related products, websites, magazines, books and activities I encounter are marketed directly to me – as a mother.
In many cases, it’s almost as if daddies don’t exist.
I guess it comes down to cold, hard facts. I’m assuming that statistics show that mothers are more likely than fathers to be the primary decision maker/care-provider in the household. In our home, I stay at home and take care of T full-time while my husband goes to work, so I guess we fall right into that easy assumption.
But, whenever I discuss a baby-related product, activity or issue with my husband he usually has an interesting take on it. Often his view is totally different to my perspective.
I’ve been mulling this over. Even though my blog centres on my experiences as a new mummy, I’m really curious about dads’ perspectives on baby-related stuff. So, I’ve decided to be nosey and try out a regular spotlight on daddies within my blog.
Under the working title “Quick chat with Dad” I plan to feature a monthly post that’s dad-focused. This weekend, I’ll kick things off by sharing a recent chat with a father of twins. Stay tuned… and as always, I’d love to hear feedback…
Photo credit: Caro Wallis
